Category: acedia

Need: A Condition Requiring Supply or Relief


The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. 
(Exodus 14:14)






In my journal, I wrote “need” in a circle and then wrote a cluster of words connected to that circle. Words like: plan, home, wholeness, food and God. Then from each of those word more words surfaced, but the repeating refrain were words like peace, rest, and quiet. 

I often complain that I don’t have enough time, but today that wasn’t on my list. Strangely I have plenty of time and we are headed out soon for our vacation with lots of hours to wile away. 

My more pressing need appears to be a plan. It is easy to think of vacation as a time of empty calendar squares to be filled with nothing or at least not the normal routine. We plan our vacation with details like where will we go, what will we see, what we need to bring, what clothes to wear, etc. Sometimes I resist planning because I think plans hinder fun and spontaneity.

But in reality, structure does allow us more flexibility. This flows over into my spiritual life. I must admit I have been winging it lately. Taking a meandering, nonchalant walk through Scripture. Dabbling in a devotion. Nibbling on Psalms. But no real meaty meditation or systematic study.

I need a plan. 

But I have another problem, namely too many choices. And let me tell you there are no shortage of plans for reading the Bible, praying to God, online Bible studies, community Bible studies, etc. But that is not the real problem. 

My real problem is acedia: spiritual boredom. It’s not a new phenomena, even the desert fathers struggled with it and prayed against it. 

I have read the Psalms before. I have participated in a variety of Bible studies. I have put on the armor of God. 

What am I lacking? Stillness. Just absorbing God. Letting Him fight for me, love me and release me. I need Him to forgive me for taking Him for granted. Eat my psalms, even if I am tired of them, like I tire of peas or broccoli. In the eating, I will begin to enjoy the nourishment again. Oh, to listen and hear Him speak to me, and not merely read the words on the page, that is pure joy!

I need God. 



What do you need today?


Posted on by kelrohlf 3

Acedia: Apathy or Boredom

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance. 
(Psalm 42:5 NKJV)

I woke up in a funk. I didn’t want to read or pray. I didn’t want to bundle up and go out for a walk. I didn’t want to do anything. So, I just sat on the couch.

I can’t quite remember how I got up off the couch and over to my blue thinking chair. I think it was God reminding me to take care of myself. I did a mini collage, looked at my previous collages, and scribbled a poem using words found within the collage.

false
           facades

                         collapsing,

creating
unassuming
decisions
(or quince frescoes).
 

This made me smile. And it made me think. What false facades do I need to let collapse? When I do, what will this create? Unassuming decisions? What does that mean? Or would I prefer to create “quince frescoes”? Sometimes just being silly and creative can get me out of a funk.

This little exercise rejuvenated my desire to sit and listen. I listen by reading and journaling.

I browsed one devotion and then another, then responded in my journal, where I confessed to God that this time of year just does not motivate me.

I like to talk and rant and complain. God invites me to listen. In my listening time, as I often do, I picked up the dictionary. I wanted to know what it meant to listen. The three entries in my pocket dictionary outlined a handy action plan for listening.

1. Make an effort to hear.

A simple first step, if I am going to listen, I have to make an effort. I have to open my ears. Place myself in the presence of the One I desire to hear. Open the Bible, uncap the pen, listen as one being taught and given words for the weary. (Isaiah 50:4)

2. Pay attention.

Once my listening ears are tuned in, I have to pay attention. Record what I think I’m hearing, ask God questions, and clarify with the Holy Spirit as to where He is leading for the day. (Isaiah 28:23)

3. Take notice of and act on what is said.

And finally, once I’ve noted what has been said; act on it.  Of course, this is a lot easier said than done. As I listened to God invite me to take care of myself, this prompted me to get out of the blue chair, bundle up in some warm clothes and take a walk on this sunshine laden day. When I returned, my funk was gone. I was ready for some more listening. (James 1:25)

Posted on by kelrohlf 4