Category: common cold

Despair: To Lose All Hope or Confidence

My God, My God,
why have You forsaken Me?
Why are You so far from helping Me,
And from the words of My groaning?
Psalm 22:1 (NKJV)

Doubt and despair. How could I have fallen from such great heights of wonder and delight in two days?

The common cold has descended upon my head and throat and chest. Weighing me down; tempting me to despair. You may laugh at me or you may hurl curses at me depending on how deep your struggle with doubt and despair.

I used to find comfort and challenge in the quote from Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables, “To despair is to turn your back on God.” But I’m not so sure about it anymore. Often the root of my despair rests in a sense that God has abandoned me to this germ-infested, pain-ridden world, full of brokenness and irreparable damage. Death and dying trumps life and living so many times that it’s simply impossible not to lose hope.

Even Jesus, anguished over the where are you God question:

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Mark 15:34 NKJV)

Jesus died on the cross. He surrendered to death and joy did come in the morning, but the hours in between still were marked with grief, doubt and despair.
 
Am I willing to w[rest]le with the despair long enough for it to bring new life?

I am not encouraging anyone to have an affair with despair, but at least let hopelessness do its work, let it bring you to your knees. Let the dark envelop you so that the light shining in the darkness means something–really truly gets into your heart, soul and mind.

And then once we’ve honestly poured out our wailings day and night, the gentle spirit will whisper a simple thought: Hope. Hope again.

 
 
O Holy Night (John Sullivan Dwight)
 
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need,
to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King, Before Him lowly bend!
 
 

 
Posted on by kelrohlf 6

Grouse: Complain; Grumble

“An inward grouse is a devastating thing.” Amy Carmichael
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise:
be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:4-5 KJV

Thanksgiving comes but once a year, yet I desire to cultivate a thankful heart the whole year through. It’s not easy. I came down with a whopper of a cold over Thanksgiving break. My tendency is to whine and moan between the fits of coughing. I’ve heard somewhere that it helps to thank God for the bad, as well as the good. But I heard even better advice today. Thank God for his goodness and grace.

This evening I watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The transformation of the Grinch’s heart speaks to me of the transforming grace of Christ. The episode opens with the townspeople singing: “Welcome Christmas”

To welcome Christmas. . . that is what I’d like to do over the next few weeks. Will you join me?

It takes conscious effort to move from grousing to rejoicing. I know this from personal experience. Even this morning, I almost gave in to wallowing in self-pity. “Woe is me, I have a cold.” My plight is not unusual; probably the majority of us will have a cold this winter, as it is called the “common” cold.

Part of my complaint was common; I don’t have time to be sick. I got things to do: cleaning, studying, buying, decorating and apparently now—resting. I chafe against rest. If had pushed myself today, I wouldn’t have had time to reflect on the devastating effects of grumbling. I would have missed out on practicing the art of giving thanks on all occasions. So maybe I didn’t thank God for my cold, but I did thank Him for his goodness in reminding me that rest is an important part of life.

Usually I pick a devotional book that has daily readings for the Advent season. This year I picked up a book, I read earlier this year. It’s called God’s Love Letters to You: A 40-Day Devotional Experience written by Dr. Larry Crabb. Each day focuses on a different book in the Bible. Today was Genesis—a very good place to start—the beginning. Written from the first person perspective of God, the subtitle for today’s reading warms my heart: I Have a Plan: Trust Me. The devotion raises the question of why doesn’t God immediately relieve our pain. It didn’t answer the question, but gave me space to contemplate it. The last sentence offers food for thought: “You must live now in the tension between anguish and hope.” Again, I found no direct answer, but something to mull over. How can I live in this tension? Will I trust God’s plan?

My expectation after Thanksgiving was to gear up for the end of the semester at the highest speed possible, but my health has slowed me down. After a day of resting in God’s presence, reading books and ruminating on God’s words— I give thanks for His grace for this day.

I am ready to welcome Christmas at a pace that embraces the goodness of God.

Posted on by kelrohlf 0