Acedia: Apathy or Boredom

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance. 
(Psalm 42:5 NKJV)

I woke up in a funk. I didn’t want to read or pray. I didn’t want to bundle up and go out for a walk. I didn’t want to do anything. So, I just sat on the couch.

I can’t quite remember how I got up off the couch and over to my blue thinking chair. I think it was God reminding me to take care of myself. I did a mini collage, looked at my previous collages, and scribbled a poem using words found within the collage.

false
           facades

                         collapsing,

creating
unassuming
decisions
(or quince frescoes).
 

This made me smile. And it made me think. What false facades do I need to let collapse? When I do, what will this create? Unassuming decisions? What does that mean? Or would I prefer to create “quince frescoes”? Sometimes just being silly and creative can get me out of a funk.

This little exercise rejuvenated my desire to sit and listen. I listen by reading and journaling.

I browsed one devotion and then another, then responded in my journal, where I confessed to God that this time of year just does not motivate me.

I like to talk and rant and complain. God invites me to listen. In my listening time, as I often do, I picked up the dictionary. I wanted to know what it meant to listen. The three entries in my pocket dictionary outlined a handy action plan for listening.

1. Make an effort to hear.

A simple first step, if I am going to listen, I have to make an effort. I have to open my ears. Place myself in the presence of the One I desire to hear. Open the Bible, uncap the pen, listen as one being taught and given words for the weary. (Isaiah 50:4)

2. Pay attention.

Once my listening ears are tuned in, I have to pay attention. Record what I think I’m hearing, ask God questions, and clarify with the Holy Spirit as to where He is leading for the day. (Isaiah 28:23)

3. Take notice of and act on what is said.

And finally, once I’ve noted what has been said; act on it.  Of course, this is a lot easier said than done. As I listened to God invite me to take care of myself, this prompted me to get out of the blue chair, bundle up in some warm clothes and take a walk on this sunshine laden day. When I returned, my funk was gone. I was ready for some more listening. (James 1:25)

Embryo: Something in an Early Stage of Development

 





I think a journal is like an embryo. It is the incubator for my writing life. The ideal place for thoughts and ideas to gestate, in their early stage of development.

 
Today I am linking up with Random Journal Day with Dawn and Susie over at Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith.
 
Here’s the entry I randomly chose in a journal from 2010:

 


  
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 Morning. Rainy Day. Cold & Damp.

I woke up around 6am and decided to rouse myself from bed and begin the day. Right now the house is cluttered and dust laden. Barely enough time to make sure we have clean underwear. Final days of the semester mean I must make the most of every moment. Also preparing for trip . . . and keeping up with family and friends.
(That’s all I wrote in my journal that day.)
It’s strange when you go back to a journal entry looking for some seed of thought that might inspire greater things. In this entry, I notice that my life was very full. During that semester of life, I learned to accept that I had the normal amount of time, but it was divided amongst several different interests and pursuits.
Time to rest and reflect, even for a few lines in my journal. Barely time to do laundry. Never enough time or motivation to dust.
One key phrase in the paragraph, “making the most of every moment” gives a glimpse into my heart. Time and people are important to me. Cultivating relationships and nurturing the embryonic ideas that often generate from my ever active mind are seeds of who I am. See how a journal can reveal or affirm something about yourself!
I love keeping a journal. My journals are treasured, sacred places to process my days, to notice patterns and to discover truths about life. A journal can be a place of healing or a place to discover your purpose. Or even a springboard for blogging or other writing projects.
 
If you have a journal, and want to link up with Random Journal Day, the link is open all month.

Go now, write it on a tablet for them,
inscribe it on a scroll,
that for the days to come
it may be an everlasting witness.

(Isaiah 30:8 NIV)



Light: Something that Makes Vision Possible

 
Blessed are those who
have learned to acclaim you,
who walk in the light
of your presence, O Lord.
Psalm 89:15 NIV

I like Mondays. On Mondays, I observe a day of rest. I call it my extra Sabbath. On Sundays, my husband and I serve and worship at our church. And I often take a nap in the afternoon.

But resting on Mondays is different. I don’t schedule any outside appointments. I don’t have to rush anywhere. I can linger with my coffee. I let go of agendas and I do my best to listen. There is no hurry to leave the presence of God. I read, journal, listen and pray to my heart’s content.
 
This particular Monday, I am enjoying time on our porch swing on a warm, balmy winter day. The sun is shining, the birds are calling each other with warbles and whistles and chirps and trills.
 
Sometimes, I go back and read over my journal to gain insight. To see what light has been poured out through my pen. I notice what God and I have been dialoguing over the past several weeks. Since I had the leisure to do so today, I thumbed through my journal, highlighting the glimpses of a theme or a direction. Path, desire and want were common words. Also hope, blessing and love. Here are some quotes and musings that resonated with me today. I hope they are a sweet balm of warmth on this wintry Monday.

“As wonderful as it is to have Jesus’ blessings,
it is even more wonderful to have Jesus.”
(Roy Lessin)
 
 
 
“O LORD, the house of my soul is narrow; enlarge it that Thou mayest enter in. It is ruinous, O repair it! It displeases Thy sight; I confess it, I know. But who shall  cleanse it, or to whom shall I cry but unto Thee? Cleanse me from my secret faults, O LORD,
spare Thy servant from strange sins.”
(St. Augustine)
 
 
“To have someone to absorb us, who wants to understand the shape and structure of our lives, who will listen for more than our words,
is one of friendship’s greatest gifts.”
(Paul D. Robbins)
 
 
Below is a written prayer that I copied down today, and my response to that prayer:
 
“Almighty God, whose word is authority and power and whose way is love, grant us today clear minds, understanding hearts, and willing spirits so that we may wisely appropriate Your word of truth. Amen.”
 
 
My response:
 
“Let us not try to change each other, but rather trust each other. Trust ourselves. Accept that each other’s personalities, skills, gifts and life experiences inform the whole of who we are and how we interact with one another. Let us love one another.”


Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts. 
(1 John 5:21 NLT)
 
 
 


 

Ordinary:The Regular Course of Things

We plan the way we want to live,
but only God makes us able to live it.
(Proverbs 16:9 The Message)
 


After the observance of Epiphany, the church calendar returns to Ordinary Time. Not plain time, but ordinal, as in numbering our days.

Last week, I was mulling over my word for the year:
 
 

As I considered desire, I recorded a list of seven desires for 2013 in my planner. Each word ended in the suffix of “–ation” or a form of it, which means the act of something. As I observed this commonality, my heart ignited with hope for intentional, creative action this year.

 
 

I often do not do what I want. My life has been formed more by oughts and shoulds, rather than wants. Caring for others drove my plans as a young mother. Today, with grown children, my planner is wide open for new adventures and uncharted territories.

So, the other day I courageously wrote in my journal, “I want to . .  .”

Saying, “I want to” out loud was quite liberating. (And saying “I don’t want to” can be just as freeing. Try it sometime.)

So here’s a glimpse into  some of my heart desires and creative pursuits for 2013:

I want to join a book club.

I want to participate in community theatre.

I want to take a yoga class.

I want to clean out the fridge.

I want to pray more for my friends.

I want to inspire creativity with others.

I want space to write.

I want to learn more.

I want to be an entrepreneur.

Some lofty aspirations, some recreational outlets and some ordinary tasks came to mind. But even the ordinary task of cleaning out the fridge felt more like joy than drudgery. I used to think saying “I want to” was selfish, but this little exercise showed me that wanting or desiring things can be very healthy and fulfilling. I feel like a tree flourishing in season, producing life for itself and others.

Linking up with:

MonthlyOneWord

Stay Tuned


The rest of the week, I will be taking a break from blogging in order to celebrate Thanksgiving and prepare for the Advent{ures} ahead. Have a blessed time recalling the goodness of God
in the land of the living.

When I return, let’s go on an Advent{ure} together! I will begin a series for the Advent season called . . .
 
 
 Advent{ures}: Let’s Go to Bethlehem
When: Sunday, November 25 through Sunday, January 6
 
What: Recollections of the Nativity: Before, During and After
 
Where: Right here at Nourishment for the Soul
 
Why: To Renew Our Spirits
 

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
Luke 2:15 NIV